A Thousand Small Explosions Page 13

  In the faded light, he could just about make out the colourful tattoo of the butterfly that rested below her neck, something he detested almost as much as her taste in cheap rings and bracelets. But those things aside, there was little about Amy he’d change. And at this stage of a relationship, he’d normally have found a multitude of reasons to have called time and cast her adrift. However, he had another plan for Amy.

  Slowly, Christopher’s arm made its way to the edge of the bed and his hand stretched to the floor below. His fingertips silently felt around the floor until they connected with the wooden handles of his cheese wire. Then he gently pulled it over the soft bristles of the carpet, up the side of the mattress and onto the duvet. With both hands on the handles, he held the wire above him and stretched it as taut as possible. He turned his body to its side so he was directly behind Amy and slowly lowered it so the wire was parallel to her neck. He could feel his heart beating stronger and stronger every centimetre he drew it closer to her skin. Finally, when it reached a position he was familiar with, he let it rest.

  Christopher had gained an incalculable amount of pleasure since his killing spree began but he’d always chosen strangers and never someone familiar. The closest he’d come to those on his list were generic messages via the dating App UFlirt where their paths first crossed. “Banter,” as they insisted on calling it, would pass to and fro until he’d cajoled them into leaving him their telephone numbers. None had the forethought to understand that by willingly offering up their digits, they were handing him a key that unlocked the door to their entire identities.

  Amy interrupted his recollections with an audible, post-coital sigh, and Christopher wondered what she was dreaming about. He never dreamed, or at least if he did, he never remembered. He was sure he wasn’t missing out though because dreams were unattainable, and there was no point in doing anything if there was no chance of success.

  The sex between Christopher and Amy was unlike any intimacy he’d experienced before. He’d had no substantial urge to pleasure the seventy or so women he’d slept with since losing his virginity at the age of twelve; it was - and had always been - only about his own gratification. But Amy was an exception and he revelled in the fact that he was the one who could make her groan and who could take her to the edge, only to pull back until he was ready for her to succumb. He relished being in control of her orgasms, but then he also readily gave into her taking charge and not allowing him to climax until she gave him permission. He had never relinquished dominance like this in any aspect of his life, yet it felt perfectly normal to do so with Amy.

  That left him conflicted because normal was something Christopher did not aspire to be; he believed his brain to be wired in such a way that was much more powerful than “normal”. It was a gift that enabled him to do anything he wanted to, without fear and, to date, without consequence.

  He moved so his nose was as close to the back of Amy’s head as it could possibly be without making contact. He inhaled deeply and took in the lemon seagrass scented shampoo she’d used the night before. That was his favourite – he liked it when she smelled of citrus. With one swift manoeuvre, the wire would be wrapped around her neck and she’d be clawing at it like all the others had.

  ‘Why are you so fidgety?’ Amy mumbled, to his surprise.

  ‘Sorry, I thought you were asleep.’

  ‘I was but I could sense you weren’t. What’s wrong?’

  ‘Nothing. I just can’t sleep and got to thinking about those women you’ve been investigating.’

  ‘The victims.’

  ‘Yes,’ he swallowed, finding the word distasteful.

  ‘And what were you thinking about them?’

  He wanted to say that he could recall every different scent and brand of shampoo each girl had used as he jolted their heads backwards towards his nose and mouth once the wire was wrapped around their necks. And how since he’d begun all this, he understood a person’s beauty was transient because within just a few days of biological decay they all looked identical; bloated, discoloured and eaten inside and out by their own bacteria.

  ‘I was wondering what went through their minds when they knew they were about to die,’ he replied. ‘What would you think about?’

  Amy paused before she answered. ‘Probably all the things I wished I’d accomplished while I’d had the chance. What about you?’

  ‘Yes, the same,’ Christopher lied.

  He lifted the wire back above her head and lowered it down to where he’d left it under the bed. Knowing he could strangle her at any given moment gave him more pleasure than the actual act itself would.

  But while Christopher was aware he was completing exactly what he’d set out to accomplish when he’d first started mapping his project all those months ago, there was a fly in the ointment. He’d met a woman he liked and for the first time in his life, he was falling in love.

  And that had not been part of the plan.

  CHAPTER 43

  BETHANY

  Just over a week into Bethany’s Australia adventure and she was aware of a downturn in Kevin’s health.

  He was losing his appetite and spending more and more time in his bedroom asleep. Despite the thirty-five degree temperature outside, Kevin often complained of feeling the cold and layered himself in baggy clothing. And sometimes, when she listened closely, she thought she could hear him rattle with the number of prescription tablets he swallowed each day.

  Bethany was scared their time together was slipping through her fingers and she wasn’t prepared for it to come to an end, so while he was awake, she did all she could to engage him in conversation or just spend time being with him. They spent much of their days talking about their lives before she left England and before he was diagnosed with cancer. Hours passed as they sprawled across the sofa in his bedroom watching classic 1980s Brat Pack films on Netflix and they grew so comfortable with each other that there were times when Bethany forgot her moments with Kevin came with a time limit. Then when she was reminded of it, she began to imagine how her life would change when he wasn’t around any more.

  In the beginning of their relationship when Bethany lived in blissful naivety as to Kevin’s condition, their communication had become an integral part of her everyday routine and she planned her mornings and evenings around it. She’d set her alarm so as to wake up earlier than necessary so they could talk as they ate together – her breakfast and him supper. And she’d record anything on TV that was broadcast after 10pm to watch at a later date so they had more time of an evening.

  Bethany had grown used to her heart fluttering when he texted her or when her phone lit up with his call. And she knew that when the unavoidable came, she would miss that. But what she had yet to figure out was if it was Kevin she’d miss or the knowledge there was someone in the world who was made for her.

  As Kevin slept, Bethany would either lie beside him or with her head on his stomach as it rose and fell with shallow breaths. And during the long periods when Kevin was out of action, she’d offer to help his parents Susan and Dan around the house or drive into town and run errands for them. They demonstrated how a dairy and sheep farm operated, taking her out in the truck to help round up the sheep, or teaching her how to affix milking equipment to the cows. It was a world away from the one she’d been stagnating in.

  Bethany was astonished at how close she could feel to people she hadn’t known two weeks earlier, and she desperately wished there was a way that she could remove the pain they felt as they watched their son struggle.

  There was something of her own she wished she could take away too, but it wasn’t something she could ever share with her new adoptive family. But as each day passed, it became all the more consuming.

  CHAPTER 44

  NICK

  ‘To what do I owe this pleasure?’ Alex asked Nick as he drove them away from the rugby club ground in his car.

  Nick clenched his fists to stop his hands from tingling at the smell of Alex’s damp ha
ir and recently applied aftershave.

  ‘Honestly? I don’t know,’ he replied. ‘It was a spur of the moment thing. I remembered who you played for then I read up about them online and the next thing I know, I’m waving Sally off to spend the weekend with her mum and I’m on my way over to see you play a game I don’t even understand. Have I stepped over the line?’

  ‘I should say yes, but no, you haven’t.’

  Nick was pleased to hear it. He sat and pondered his next question, trying to phrase it properly in his head before posing it.

  ‘This is a really tragic question but I have to ask it; have you thought about me much since we saw each other last?’ He closed his eyes and waited for Alex to reply, hoping his answer would be positive.

  ‘What, do you mean have I thought about you over the last eight days, eleven hours and, let me check, forty-seven minutes? Yeah, you could say I have a little.’ Both men smiled.

  ‘Now can I ask you something?’ Alex continued. ‘When we spoke on the phone the first time, you told me you took the Match Your DNA test even though you didn’t necessarily believe in it. So why do it?’

  ‘My girlfriend, well, my fiancée, wanted me to. We’re getting married in August and she wanted to reassure herself we were genuinely suited.’

  Nick noticed Alex edge ever so slightly away from him when he spoke of his impending marriage, like the news had come as an unwelcome surprise.

  ‘And when she found out that you were matched with a guy…?’

  ‘She found it hilarious at first. But it was Sally who wanted me to meet you, which is why I made that appointment with a fake name.’

  ‘Why didn’t you just tell her no?’

  ‘Because it was important to her … and I guess even though I didn’t want to admit it, I was a little curious about you.’

  ‘Most women wouldn’t have let us anywhere near each other, let alone encourage it.’

  ‘Sally and I have always had an honest relationship with each other and with no bullshit … we tell each other everything.’

  ‘So she knows where you are at the moment?’

  ‘I think you already know the answer to that. Where does Mary think you are?’

  ‘Out for drinks with the rugby lads after the game. She’s not expecting me home until tonight.’

  The streets of suburban Birmingham were quiet for a Saturday afternoon as Alex’s Mini Cooper made its way out towards the M6.

  ‘Where are we headed?’ asked Nick.

  ‘Mate, I don’t have a fucking clue,’ Alex replied and shook his head.

  CHAPTER 45

  ELLIE

  Tim carried his bowl of Frosties to the front door when the bell rang.

  Assuming it was an early morning Amazon delivery, probably a package that wouldn’t fit through the letterbox, he opened the door and found a tall, shaven headed burly man standing rigid alongside a nervous looking Ellie. Two black Range Rovers with tinted windows were parked kerbside outside his modest semi-detached home. He could just about make out people in both of them.

  ‘Hi,’ Tim mumbled and swallowed his mouthful of cereal. His shirt sleeves were rolled up and a yellow tie hung loosely around his neck. He couldn’t pretend he wasn’t taken aback by her appearance and looked perplexed as to how she’d gotten his address.

  ‘Hello,’ Ellie replied. ‘I’m sorry to turn up unannounced. Do you have a few minutes to talk before you go to work?’

  ‘I’ve been trying to talk to you for the last few days but you’ve ignored my voicemails and texts.’

  ‘I know and I’m sorry. That’s why I’m here to explain. Please?’

  Tim moved to one side and Andrei was the first to enter. He removed his dark glasses and scanned the entrance hall and various rooms as Ellie followed. Tim frowned at the man-mountain, then at his DNA Match.

  ‘He’s my security detail,’ she offered almost apologetically.

  ‘In that case I should make you aware of the family of Ninjas living in the dining room and the barrels of mustard gas I’ve been cooking up in the conservatory.’ Andrei shot him a disapproving glance.

  Ellie had taken four days to muster the courage to approach Tim after the events of their second date culminated in red paint being hurled across them. She’d bunkered down in her London townhouse and remained there, embarrassed and deeply humiliated.

  Had Tim been just a run of the mill date, she’d have made sure never to see him again. However, he was far from ordinary, and once two Matches were brought together, it wasn’t easy to free themselves from the chemistry that bound them. Besides, she liked spending time getting to know him and the kiss they shared shortly before the attack was nothing short of wonderful.

  Ellie was accustomed to public speaking and thousands of people had attended some of her keynote speeches around the world or watched her online TED Talks. But try as she might in her many bathroom mirror rehearsals, she still didn’t know how to begin to explain to Tim what had happened.

  ‘Can I offer you or your pet giant a coffee?’ Tim asked, eyeballing Andrei.

  ‘That’s what I call him,’ Ellie replied, ‘Andrei the Giant. You know, like the famous French wrestler? He was in The Princess Bride? It’s one of my all time favourite films…’

  Tim shook his head and made his way into the lounge, muting the sound of breakfast television presenters with the remote control. He put his bowl of cereal down on a coffee table and invited Ellie to sit.

  ‘So what happened the other night?’ he asked. ‘Why did a complete stranger throw red paint at us and say that you have blood on your hands?’

  ‘Because that’s what many people think,’ she replied. ‘You’ve probably guessed by now that I haven’t been completely honest with you about who I am or what I do for a living.’

  ‘That’s about right. So who are you and what do you do?’

  ‘The surname I used on my DNA profile is my mum’s maiden name, Ayling. My actual surname is Stanford and I don’t work as a personal assistant to a CEO. I actually work for myself. And what I do is a little … controversial.’

  ‘What, are you an arms dealer or something?’

  ‘No, no,’ she said. ‘Nothing like that.’ Ellie paused and took a deep breath. ‘Tim, I am the scientist who discovered the Match Your DNA gene, and a lot of people hate me for it.’

  CHAPTER 46

  AMANDA

  After three nights with little-to-no sleep, Amanda stopped off at Tesco on her way home from work and picked up some over-the-counter sleeping tablets.

  She had hoped that a solid night’s slumber might offer her some perspective on Jenny’s unexpected and remarkable offer of allowing her to carry Richard’s baby. But instead, the pills left her feeling sluggish and unable to think clearly the next morning.

  Regardless, she went through the motions of crawling out of bed when her 7am alarm went off, of dragging her weary bones into the shower and then making herself look less like a zombie from The Walking Dead and more like an office worker with a generous application of foundation and under-eye cream.

  Amanda’s work as a team leader for an energy supplier’s telesales division began four years earlier and she hadn’t treated it as anything other than a job, and certainly not a career. Lately, she was finding it an increasing struggle to garner the motivation to turn up for work each day. In fact, after Richard, she struggled to put her broken heart into anything any more. Her work, her family and her social life were all suffering and today, instead of trawling through spreadsheets of data, she’d been staring blankly at the computer screen or towards her booth’s front partition wall.

  Barely a couple of hours would pass without Amanda opening the folder of photographs of Richard she’d created on her mobile phone or picturing herself travelling the world with him, marrying him and beginning her much craved family together. She’d even removed his old mobile phone that she’d found in his chest of drawers and sent the footage of him masturbating to her own phone. Now it was in her possess
ion and she could pretend he’d made it only for her.

  She asked herself what Richard would do if he were in her position, working in a job she hated with no light at the end of the tunnel. “He’d just leave,” she said to herself. “He’d pack up his bags and go travelling, in search of a better adventure.” However Amanda didn’t have to the guts to simply quit her job, although his mother Jenny had offered her the chance to go on a very different adventure. Her offer to use Richard’s stored sperm had come out of the blue and opened up a whole new potential path for her to tread.

  ‘Don’t make a decision straight away,’ Jenny had told her on the hillside where Richard’s ashes had been scattered. ‘Take your time to think about it and what it would mean to you to have his baby. Talk it over with your family but no matter what they say, remember that you’ll always have Emma and me on your side. We are your family too now.’

  Having a child with a man who truly loved her was all that Amanda had ever wanted and until recently, it hadn’t seemed possible. She and Richard had been Matched but they’d never been given the opportunity to meet, yet she knew how she felt about him based only on being around the remnants of his life. Was that enough of a foundation to have his child? Of course it wasn’t and for a moment, Amanda listened as the rational side of her brain made its case. How would she explain to her family she was pregnant with the child of a dead man she’d never met? Is this really how she wanted to become a mother? Could she afford it? Could she even do it alone?

  ‘Amanda, can I have a word?’

  The voice that came from behind startled her. She turned to see her line manager, Charlie, a man that she suspected was barely out of his teens but had the ability to patronise as well as any man double his age. She followed him into a large Perspex cube with a desk, a white board and a television screwed to the wall and he beckoned her to take a seat. He shuffled some papers he was holding.