A Thousand Small Explosions Read online

  ‘I’ve been looking at your team’s sales figures and if I’m honest, they’ve been slipping,’ he began, and stroked his bum-fluff goatee beard to emphasise his disappointment. ‘Over the last two months, we’ve seen a consistent drop in leads from you guys and as a result, sales have stalled. Is there anything you’d like to talk about with me?’

  “Like what?’ she asked herself, “Like the love of my life is dead and I’m considering having his baby?”

  ‘No,’ she replied instead. ‘I have a few personal issues I’m dealing with at the moment, I’m sorry if it’s affected my work. It won’t happen again.’

  ‘It has, it has,’ Charlie continued. ‘The thing is, Amanda, I’ve been looking at your file, and I see that you could have a potentially fruitful career here. If you keep your head down and work harder, there’s no reason why you couldn’t end up being promoted by this time next year. I mean, you’re quite a bit older than the other girls here and your documents say you’re not married and you don’t have a family. And as it’s probably getting a little too late for one of your own, you might as well have something to aim for, mightn’t you?’ He hoped she’d feel motivated by his words.

  What he couldn’t recognise was that as Amanda stared back at him in disbelief at his comments, he’d also inadvertently made up her mind for her along with offering her an escape route.

  ‘Thank you, you patronising little prick,’ Amanda replied and rose to her feet. ‘You have definitely given me something to aim for. And it’s not going to come cheap.’

  ‘What I mean, what I was trying to say…’ Charlie began to backtrack but Amanda wasn’t prepared to listen. Instead, she stormed out of the room, headed across the corridor towards the Human Resources department and entered without knocking.

  Within two hours she had negotiated a generous voluntary redundancy package including a bonus on the provision she wouldn’t take Charlie’s sexism or intrusion into her private life to an industrial tribunal. Then after walking down five flights of stairs, out of the building’s revolving doors and towards her car, she pulled her mobile phone from her pocket.

  ‘Hi Jenny, it’s Amanda,’ she began, trying to contain her excitement. ‘Yes, I want to do it. I want to have Richard’s baby.’

  CHAPTER 47

  CHRISTOPHER

  ‘Are you ready?’ Amy shouted up the stairs at Christopher.

  ‘Yes, just give me a moment,’ he replied from his office and looked at the chart on his computer screen to double check where Number Thirteen was. He was happy to find that she’d stuck to her schedule and was exactly where she was supposed to be. He liked it when they were creatures of habit as it made his job that much easier.

  Faceless contacts buried deep on the World Wide Web provided him with downloadable programmes and software to help him learn everything he needed to know about the women he targeted and more, and it all began with a mobile phone number. That would lead to a name, age, address, their occupation, medical history and employment records. He could determine almost anything from their blood types to what they’d last purchased on eBay; the number of rewards they’d received on their supermarket loyalty cards to which drinks they’d ordered from Wetherspoons on a midweek-night out with their friends. He’d discover everything from what contraceptives their doctors had prescribed them to their favourite movies list on Amazon Prime; their chosen brand of tampons to how much they spent on fake tan and cat food. Their lives were no longer their own to live and Christopher would be the one to determine how much time they had left.

  Early on, he was aware secrecy and anonymity would be the key to his success. So on the off-chance Amy might use his computer without asking, she’d only have access to a guest profile he had set up in her name. His own profile had a password cipher programme he’d been assured would take months to crack by even some of the most experienced minds.

  A Virtual Private Network made sure that Christopher’s IP number, his computer’s unique identifier, was buried at all times and ran all his online data via a secure and encrypted virtual tunnel that stopped all websites from tracking his online activity.

  Each email he sent and received went through a programme that encrypted and decrypted each message and he used unlimited aliases and disposable addresses to register with Uflirt, the one and only App installed on each of his dozens of phones. Even his most basic searches were carried out by bypassing favoured search engines like Google, Bing and Yahoo, and using ones that never followed his searches thus retaining his privacy.

  It was the Tor network that allowed him to access the deep web where millions of websites and pages were created anonymously and individuals communicated privately. Even for Christopher, it was an eye opener as anything from drugs to firearms and paedophile pornography were available to purchase for the right price. It was there where he’d bought a job lot of smart phones for a fraction of British prices using Darkcoins, a more discreet version of Bitcoins. Then he had them couriered from somewhere in Eastern Europe to a PO Box he’d set up in London.

  ‘Chris!’ Amy shouted again, ‘Come on, we’re going to be late!’ He narrowed his eyes as he loathed abbreviations of his name.

  By the time the couple found a parking space two streets away from the restaurant in Bow, they were ten minutes late. And while not being on time for an allotted appointment often made Christopher irritable, it didn’t matter so much if Amy was with him.

  ‘This menu looks lovely,’ she said, flicking through the pages of the leather bound book the maȋtre d’ handed them at their table. She smiled at Christopher and he felt his stomach perform somersaults. He smiled back at her and meant it.

  ‘It earned superb reviews in the Guardian’s Weekend magazine,’ Christopher replied, ‘that’s why I suggested it.’

  He began to feel anxious and his muscles were tense but he disguised it from Amy. Tonight was going to be the most important night of their relationship so far and he’d managed to keep his preparations under the radar. He had booked the right table in exactly the right spot and now all he had to do was to wait for that special moment.

  As they glanced over the list of traditional British foods with a modern twist, their waitress appeared with bottled water and glasses.

  ‘What would you recommend?’ Christopher asked politely. His mouth was dry so he took a large gulp of his water. He wasn’t listening when she read from the specials board, although he picked up on something about a toad in the hole with chilli spiced sausages and ham hock soup. He was more interested in focusing on the silver hoop in her pierced septum and how much pain she’d be in if he ripped it out.

  He liked the way a dimple appeared when the waitress laughed as Amy made a joke about a courgette dish with a name prone to innuendo, and how she tucked her short, dark hair behind her ears and cocked her head to one side like a dog as she listened.

  It was the first time Christopher had ever permitted his two worlds to collide. The light with the dark, the sun with the shade and his girlfriend with Number Thirteen.

  CHAPTER 48

  BETHANY

  Bethany could pinpoint the exact moment the touch paper caught light and the fireworks began to explode throughout her body.

  She was making her way towards her rental car to head into town and pick up some groceries for Kevin's parents when, through the bedroom window, she spotted Kevin being helped to dress. Without warning it was as if the floor had given way beneath her and she felt herself falling. She struggled to catch her breath and her body felt as light as a feather as if she were in zero gravity. She wasn't sure when she landed. The only thing she could be certain about was that time had frozen and the only two people in the big wide world who mattered were him and her.

  There had been times when they'd been around each other that she'd felt occasional jabs and twitches, but she couldn't be certain what they meant. Then as she let down her guard and began living for the moment rather than thinking about a future she and Kevin could never have, her se
nsations became more frequent and she also began feeling other unusual reactions when near him. But this . . . well this was something she had only ever read about.

  As she watched them make their way out of Kevin's room, through the house and into the courtyard, their eyes locked on to each other and she knew that she'd been hit with a lightning bolt. It had taken much longer than she had anticipated but then she was at the epicentre of exceptional circumstances and now a deeper connection had been made between them. It wasn't just a crush, she wasn't feeling sorry for him or his exceptional circumstances, and it wasn't something that was going to burn out long after he did. It was love in its purest form - and it scared her to death.

  'Are you okay?' Kevin asked.

  'Of course,' Bethany replied. 'Why?'

  'You look a bit flushed, that's all.'

  Bethany smiled but found it hard to maintain eye contact. Because it was Kevin she was supposed to have fallen in love with, not his brother Mark who was escorting him.

  CHAPTER 49

  NICK

  Everything Nick had assumed he knew about love, from his first schoolboy crush on soap star Holly Valance to Sally, the only woman he’d ever asked to marry him, was wrong.

  Because what he had felt for them, plus the numerous other girlfriends he’d dated over the years, was nothing compared to how he felt when he was in the presence of Alex.

  Nick’s life might have been enviable to some. He lived with a woman he adored in an apartment with ever growing equity and was working in a job that was compatible with his creative ability. He had friends he enjoyed spending time with and parents and a brother he didn’t see too often but stayed in regular contact with through FaceTime and text. All in all, there was much to be grateful for.

  It was only now, with Alex hovering in the shadows, that he knew he’d simply been content. And with each moment spent in Alex’s company, Nick knew that contentment was no longer enough to satisfy him.

  In the days and weeks that followed, their friendship escalated as each found the other’s company intoxicating. They grabbed every available opportunity to spend time together, from meeting for lunch at Itsu and McDonalds to walking with each other to the tram station after work. They chatted like old friends about schooldays spent on opposite sides of the world and ambitions they had yet to fulfil. And at times, it was simply enough just to be with each other without needing to say a word.

  Alex spoke candidly about his father’s battle with dementia and how his medication was keeping him on an even keel. However, his mother had warned it was a temporary measure and it wouldn’t be long before they’d lose him to the disease. And it was Alexander senior who would be the reason that his son’s relationship with Nick was destined to remain temporary, because Alex and his girlfriend’s flights to New Zealand were booked for six weeks’ time.

  Along with their partners, Alex’s imminent departure was a second subject the two didn’t refer to often. Each time the elephant tried to force its way back into the room, they’d attach another padlock to the door. And neither of them wanted to hear the hinges beginning to creak under the elephant’s weight.

  CHAPTER 50

  ELLIE

  ‘Shiiiiiiiit!’ began Tim and hiked his eyebrows, ‘are you kidding me?’

  His body sank into the soft cushions of his sofa as he digested Ellie’s revelation that it was she who’d discovered the gene at the centre of Match Your DNA and used it to build one of the world’s most successful businesses.

  Then much to her surprise, Tim began to chuckle, which developed into a full-on laugh. Ellie was puzzled by his reaction and glanced at Andrei standing in the corner of the room hoping that he might be able to explain what was amusing Tim. But Andrei simply lifted his broad shoulders and shrugged.

  ‘So let me get this right,’ continued Tim, wiping his eyes. ‘You’re telling me that I’ve been on two dates with my DNA Match and it turns out she was the person who invented it?’

  ‘Well, discovered it is probably a more accurate description, but yes,’ Ellie nodded.

  ‘And the company? As in the company that’s bigger than Facebook, Amazon and Apple … all that belongs to you?’

  ‘Most of it, yes.’

  He shook his head and ran his fingers through his thinning hair. ‘You couldn’t make this up.’

  ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth before now,’ Ellie continued earnestly, ‘I just wasn’t sure how to.’

  ‘No, I get it, I really do. You didn’t trust me, and that’s fine because given your situation, I’d probably have kept shtum too.’

  Ellie offered a nervous half-smile but didn’t appear convinced. So Tim placed her hands inside his and immediately, she felt a familiar sensation return, one that spread throughout her body like it had when he’d kissed her on their second date.

  ‘Look Ellie, you could be working behind the checkouts at Aldi and I wouldn’t give a flying fajita. The fact you could afford to own Aldi and still have change to buy Morrisons and Lidl doesn’t matter to me either. But you need to look at it from my perspective - my first date in almost a year is with the person who single-handedly reinvented dating and relationships. It’s bloody hilarious.’

  ‘So you’re not angry with me?’

  ‘No, of course I’m not. But I don’t get why that nutter outside the restaurant threw red paint at you? We looked like we’d spent the evening clubbing seals to death.’

  ‘Because while my discovery has Matched millions and millions of people around the world, it’s also broken up a hell of a lot of couples who thought they were made for each other and it turned out they weren’t. And I get the blame for that … more often than you probably imagine.’

  Tim nodded, appearing to understand her. ‘So how did you discover this DNA thing?’

  ‘It started twelve years ago when I hadn’t long left university,’ Ellie began, feeling more at ease now the burden of secrecy had been lifted. ‘I was carrying out some freelance research work at various labs in Cambridge, examining a link between DNA and Alzheimer’s. One morning - and I don’t know what made it spring to mind - but I remembered a conversation I’d had with my sister Maggie about why she married her husband, John. She was adamant it was love at first sight, and that even though they were only fourteen years old when they met, they knew they’d end up spending the rest of their lives together. I’m a scientist so by nature I’m skeptical about that kind of thing, but it did get me thinking - what if she were right? What if love at first sight actually exists? What if there’s something tangible inside all of us that we’ve been confusing with sexual attraction? Having not experienced it myself, I couldn’t get my head around how you can just look or talk to another person and in a very, very short period of time, know they’re the one.’

  ‘I’m following you so far, but this isn’t going to get too sciency is it? I failed all my GCSEs in anything that involved Bunsen burners or dissecting frogs.’

  ‘No I’ll keep it simple. You know when you see someone and you fancy them? I began by looking at what it is about them that appeals to you, like whether it is their face, their body shape, how they carry themselves, how they move their body, the tone of their voice, how they smell, what they taste like when you kiss, their skin colour, etc, etc. And then I looked to see if there was more to it than just an instant attraction... something that our brains had no control over. Was it possible to fall in love with someone we wouldn’t under ordinary circumstances be drawn to? Can we be so captivated by a person in a deeper, all-consuming way that makes our entire bodies react, so that we bypass what our brain is telling us because somehow we are intrinsically linked to that person?’

  Tim sighed. ‘In my spare time I question how they built the Death Star without anyone noticing and why spirits killed everyone who looked into the box in Raiders of The Lost Ark. Meanwhile you’re out there finding genes nobody knew existed.’

  ‘I’m sure your questions are just as important as mine,’ Ellie grinned.
Anyway, this is the sciency bit, so stay with me, as it’s important I give you an idea of the scale of what I was up against. We have roughly 100 trillion human cells in our body and we also carry about ten times that many foreign cells, mainly bacteria, that help us digest food and provide essential metabolites that we can’t produce ourselves. Inside each of our cells are two metres of DNA – and if you unravelled every strand of DNA in your body, it’d stretch to the sun and back 100 times – and the sun is 98 million miles away from Earth.’

  ‘I’m still with you.’

  ‘Good. Well, we already knew that women produce pheromones and men have receptors that bind the pheromone molecules and that can create an attraction between the two. But I discovered that when certain people are brought together, there’s a variable gene inside us that allows both sexes to produce pheromones and also have receptor genes. Two heterosexual people, two gay people – it doesn’t matter. Once the right match is made it’s set in stone. I examined the DNA of hundreds of couples and those who shared that same gene are the same ones who say they’ve fallen for each other the moment they met. I expanded my search worldwide to include thousands of volunteers for my database and found the same thing time and time again – only one other person shares that gene with you. And they are your DNA Match.’

  ‘I thought the idea of all animals was to shag around and propagate the species?’

  ‘That’s what men like to believe to justify their cheating. But when you break it down to basics, then yes, it is.’

  ‘But say you’re an eighty-year-old woman and your Match is an eighteen-year-old man – there’s not much propagating going on there.’

  ‘No. Every single person produces their own personal pheromone – it’s like a unique fingerprint that remains stable for the rest of your life. And it’s the luck of the draw as to whether you’re Matched with someone around your age or someone who is too old to conceive. And some argue that that’s not a bad thing as the planet’s already vastly over populated. It’s actually intergenerational Matches that have helped caused a drop in birth rates around the world, along with falling numbers of one-night stands and STIs.’